Spooning

Danger!

Spooning

Can lead to forking!

Cartoon

This is (I think) terrific:

Love On the Line

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I found a company which thinks like me, Old Glory Tees. I ordered several of their tee shirts.

1. PETA
   


2. Guns Don't Kill People... I do
   

Another Problem Solved

What’s the big deal about “Greenhouse gases?” Plants live in greenhouses and plants “inhale” CO² and “exhale” oxygen – you’d think that would be a good thing.

But, if there’s this big deal problem with greenhouse gases, wouldn’t the simple solution be to seal greenhouses better? A little weather-strip would go a long way in preventing these “gases” from getting out of the greenhouses.


Seems simple to me……

Bad Ad

There's an ad for "Free Credit Report Dot Com."

The guy is singing about how he married his dream girl only to find out she has bad credit.

First off, he and his buddies are playing music while his (hot) wife is doing housework - laundry. Shouldn't he, at least, get himself and his friends out of her way, if not offer to help her?

But the worst is at the end: If he had known his "dream girl" had bad credit, he'd be a bachelor, living in the suburbs with a dog and a yard. Isn't there something a little twisted about that?

My Baby

A woman who is a "regular" came into Snapper's carrying a little puppy, "This is my baby."

I have this little devil that sits on my shoulder. I listen to him way too often and this was one of those times. "Are you breast feeding?"

Later, she came over to me. "You don't like little dogs, do you?"

"Untrue," I said (That little devil was still on my shoulder), I love'em. Especially on the grill."

My Friend & Younger Women

My friend has a girlfriend our age. He is happy with her and can't understand why I don't want a woman our age. "She cooks for me. She cleans. She does the laundry. She takes care of me." Several times, I've almost said, "That sounds like a mother to me." Instead, I just tell him, "That's fine - for you. But that's not what I want."

He's also blown it for me a few times. He'll start talking about, "In our day...." or he'll complain that the music is "just noise." Just what I need when I'm trying to convince a sweet young thing that she needs and wants an older guy. I swear, sometimes he sounds like someones grandfather - Uh, oh, that's right, he is.

My favorite, though, was one night when we were in Snapper's - four of us. He was with his girlfriend and I was with a very hot 31 year old chick. He was belting down scotch and beer. The woman I was with went to the Ladies room. My friend, being a bit drunk, leaned in front of his girlfriend and said, "Hey, Bill, I gotta hand it to you. I always heard there were younger women who like older men, but I can never find one." After that his girlfriend became icy silent.

Sometimes he can be silent when I'm hitting on a hot chick. One night the chick I was hitting on was a bit conceited. She went to the ladies room. She was hot and every guy in the place looked at her as she went and came back. She said to me, "Every guy in the place wants to f$%# me." I said, "I don't." My friend about choked on his beer but he kept silent. She looked at me, "You don't?" I replied, "No, I want to make love to you." That was the "gotcha" line!